A discovery of Rachel Berry
by Muffins Planned
Summary: Rachel Berry discovers the three words that describe an artist's life during her first year at NYADA; passionate, fleeting and sacrifice, and also a word she never thought would ever describe her.


**A discovery of Rachel Berry  
Summary: **Rachel Berry discovers the three words that describe an artist and an artists' life; passionate, fleeting and sacrifices, and also a word she never thought would ever describe her.  
A/N: I'm sorry for any errors in this text, my nephew broke parts of my keyboard two days ago so I'm still getting used to typing a different way. Also, not beta'd.

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Passionate. It's the one word to describe artists of any kind. They were passionate about what they were doing, passionate in their personality, in the way they spoke, the way they moved, the way they made love. Rachel found a lover in Brody, someone who made her lose herself in the way he moved inside of her, his kisses that bruised and healed, someone who made her feel so whole, and had her head spinning.

He was the type to serenade her, dance with her when they were alone in her apartment as Kurt was gone, and then push her up against the wall, pushing into her without even undressing. He was her tutor in the art of pleasure, and he learnt her how to hit the high notes. They would talk about music, about plays, discussing the ins and out of their favorite artists and shows, and together learnt how to navigate the lands of cooking.

She would stay late at school to watch him dance in class, watch his perfect lines and the love of it all shining through. Sometimes she stayed until he was done, and they would walk to his dorm room together, wash and moisturize their faces next to the other, and sleep peacefully next to each other. Rachel Berry had never felt how amazing it was to simply lie next to a man's body, with heat radiating from him as he curved into her own body, his breath against her hair. With Finn it had been nice, but it had never made her heart swell ten times its normal size.

Once she had been sure she wanted to marry Finn, but times changed and New York changed everything about her. Rachel was no longer Finn's girl, and she couldn't wait for him anymore, she had to move on. While Finn had horrible timing coming to New York only a few months ago, it was probably the best timing. She had felt the tender passion in Brody, a surge of desire and the feeling of being desired, she wasn't willing to go back to the timid secure love that was always just enough to keep her in, but always had her mind running away.

With Brody it was different. It was day by day, night by night, living in the moment and understanding that tomorrow may change everything. Artists never lead safe lives, where everything is set in stone. Maybe in a few years she would want to marry Brody, but right then she liked his body against hers as she experienced it in so ways she had not done before in her eighteen year long life. It was uncomplicated, they both liked uncomplicated. They liked their relationship simple, waking up in the mornings and going to class without the drama or the worries. For being so passionate their relationship is next to fight-free, only arguing about the trivial things such as eating yoghurt for breakfast the day of a performance, or if they should break out of their routine of watching musicals every Sunday night with Kurt.

Kurt was busy next to every other night besides Sunday, and most often Sundays too. After his internship at he was barely seen, and as his relationship with Blaine went down the drain, he immersed himself even further into his work. One night as Rachel was snuggling up with Kurt on his bed, because she had noticed that he was sad, he confessed that he had wanted to marry Blaine one day, and now that wasn't going to happen anymore, so he had no idea what to do with himself but to work and hope that his dream of fashion will somehow fill that hole that Blaine left gaping.

Somehow Rachel got through her first semester at NYADA, and before she went home for the holidays she spent a whole night making love to Brody, and they laid next to each talking about what they were going to do during the holidays and when the thought of being away from the other got too much they kissed and made love one more time.

Fleeting. It's another word to describe artists. As their passion dies out, so does their interest. What one moment may have seemed like the only right thing, only right person, only right path, is the next moment past and gone, no longer on your world map. Rachel Berry hurried back to her apartment from the airport on January 2nd, her cheeks red and the air turning white as she breathed, constantly keeping a watchful eye on her phone, waiting for him to reply to her at her apartment she was smiling ear to ear, she had come back before Kurt, just after new year's, so that she could spend some time with Brody alone at their apartment, without having to worry about disturbing him. He'd gotten a few days for Christmas, then worked between Christmas and new year's, so he wouldn't be back for another two days. Brody's parents lived in upper state New York, and said he was always back at school much earlier than anyone else. But he wasn't answering her.

She showered, did her make-up, her hair, brushed her teeth, redressed seven times, but he never answered her.

By the time it was eleven pm she was lying in bed, gnawing at her thumb, wondering if she should call him, to make sure he was okay. She did so the next day, which lead to meeting up at a coffee shop with an awkward break-up, and Rachel Berry was crying all the way home.

Fleeting is also the moment in which your dreams are coming true, just as you are about to grasp it, it starts to fade away. Fleeting is the moment where you are happy, because in an instant you make the decision that makes it all crumble down.

Kurt returns to New York, his face bright with a smile and happy after recharging with his dad. At first he does not notice Rachel's sad smiles, the dried tears at the corner of her eyes, but then as he do, and inquires the reason, she bursts into tears and she finally allows her heart to break as she tells him that to Brody she was just a romance, just someone to keep him warm, someone to use, never someone who respected her, who cherished her, never someone who listened because he wanted to get to know her. He had never wanted her, the Rachel Berry that she was, and at least she wished that he had wanted that, even if he had not wanted a relationship. But she was the problem, there was nothing there anymore.

So she broke.

Fleeting is the moment when you make the decision that makes it all crumble down, and rarely do you realize before it is too late. Rachel Berry crushed her own dream, and two weeks into her second semester at NYADA there is a pink plus sign that upheavals everything.

Fleeting is the realization that some things cannot be undone, some things are too far gone.

Sacrifice, is another word to describe an artists life. From a functioning family life, to real friends, to a normal lifestyle. Sacrificing your sanity, parts of your dream, and for Rachel Berry a teenage pregnancy was far from her dream. She hurries down the corridors of NYADA, looking at each face carefully to see if Brody's face is somewhere among them. For some reason she believes that if she tells him there will be something to magically solve the situation, somehow it would all be okay if only he knew.

When Rachel was little she knew that being an artist meant sacrificing a lot to be the best, to stand up tall and never give up, to just keep going even when people were desperately trying to kick you to the ground. But she never understood how life could throw you hurdles you were unequipped to deal with, that some obstacles weren't as easy to overcome, and the path wasn't as obvious. She had watched Quinn throughout her pregnancy, and after giving her child up for adoption, and Rachel knew that she was far from ready for any of that, yet somehow, here she was. She had to deal with it somehow.

She finds Brody outside the dressing room, talking to some friends of his with a big smile that fades away quickly when he sees her approaching him, though he does not protest when she asks if they can speak alone. In a corner at the far end of the hallway she whispers out an 'I'm pregnant' and his face turns white, thinking about the ramifications of getting a girl pregnant, a just turned eighteen year old freshmen girl, and he still had a year and a half left before graduating. "Weren't you on birth control?" She shakes her head, asking why else would she had asked him to wear a condom, and then his face falls even further. That's when he says he didn't the last time they were together, before Christmas, because he ran out. "I thought you were on birth control," he tries to explain, but she shakes her head, fighting the tears because this could have been so easily avoided. Then he tells her 'please, for both of our sakes, get an abortion, don't ruin your dream and your future, and please don't ruin mine'. It's a stab to her chest.

But she knows he's right.

Sacrifices, she learns, is doing the hardest things to achieve your dream, and sometimes the answer isn't as simple. Sometimes the answer hurts, it's something that is far from what you want to do, but something you have to. And those sacrifices is what toughens you, it is what makes you learn, what shapes you, what makes you fight even harder to achieve your dream and never give up. It is those sacrifices that remind you of what you have to do.

Brody never offers to come, and he doesn't. He pays for half of it. She never tells Kurt. It is early and they tell her that the heart hasn't even started beating yet, then they give her a pill and another pill to take two days later. 3 days after she took the first pill she starts bleeding, and she knows it is over. She's no longer pregnant. When she takes the pregnancy test at the clinic two weeks later it says negative, and while she feels horrible about it she is relieved that it is over. She'd always wonder what if, but she would never trade that for the life that she now has.

Strong, is a word that describes Rachel Berry. The world knocks her down seven times and she stands up eight, she fights for what she wants and doesn't let anything stop her. People have walked over her all of her life, but that's over now. She knows what she wants in life, and there's no boy that will ever stop her.

It took a while for her to realize, but she is actually strong.

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**A/N 2**: Words cannot actually describe how happy I am to be posting stories again. This isn't my best work, far from it, but I've just recovered from a 1½ year writer's block, so whatever I can write, I do write. I started watching Glee again today, and found myself really drawn to the character Brody, I actually like him even if my story portrays him in a bad light, and actually ship Rachel and Brody quite a bit. Halfway through the story I realized that Rachel Berry is very young and still 17 in the beginning, but I looked up New York laws, and it is okay for a 20 year old to have sex with a 17 year old in New York, so no worries! I say 18 early on in the story because she's almost 18 when this all happens.

Some people may be shying away from the abortion issue, or think that what Rachel did was wrong, but I really don't care ;) 1 in 3 women will have an abortion in the US, so it's very believable that Rachel would go through with one. So, please save me the "She shouldn't have had an abortion" comments, because this is my story and she should've had one in mine. I might sound brusque or like a bitch, but I really don't feel like seeing those kinds of reviews. Sorry.

Looking forward to reading more Rachel/Brody stories in the future!


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